Does Your Child Have Camp Complaints?

Jenna's mom paid a significant amount of money for Jenna to attend day camp. Jenna was enthusiastic, but also anxious. The night before camp began, she started complaining of a stomach ache. She is so nervous each morning that she begins hysterically crying and throws up.

Max's dad thought a sports camp would be just the thing. He often said that Max was born with a baseball bat in his hand. Yet now that camp has begun, Max becomes hysterical about a half hour before the bus comes. So far, Dad has been able to coerce him on to the bus, but wonders if he's doing the right thing.

Each year parents in New York pay thousands of dollars to send their children to camp. Most children go willingly and happily. Others, like Jenna and Max, experience anxiety and distress. Some refuse to go, some exhibit physical symptoms like stomach pain or headaches, others become morose and withdrawn. With thousands of dollars at stake, or with no place else to put your child during the summer when you work, what should you do? Fortunately there are solutions.

If camp hasn't yet begun for your child then you have a wonderful opportunity to do a little sleuth work. Engage him in talking about camp and watch for his reactions to your discussion. You may see evidence of nervousness or doubt if you pay close attention. While you don't want to anticipate those feelings, if you can see them in advance, you can help your child deal with them prior to camp beginning which leads to a happier camp experience. Remember that when you talk about camp with your child, there are a few rules of thumb to keep in mind.

* Don't exhibit an overly enthusiastic attitude. Saying "Wow! Camp is coming. It's going to be GREAT, you're going to LOVE IT!" more often has a negative impact than a positive one. First of all, if your child is feeling a little anxious, it's unlikely that he'll feel comfortable telling you about his feelings if he believes that you think it's going to be WONDERFUL. Instead, when you do talk about camp, keep it casual and watch closely to determine how your words impact your child. Saying something like "Only a couple more days until camp begins" or "So have you thought about which activities you'll be interested in at camp this time?" are ways to engage your child in a non-directive manner. Remember that the experience of camp, like all experiences, is sometimes mixed. There may be positives and negatives. Implying that it's going to be terrific is misleading and if your child should have negative feelings he might feel like something is wrong with him rather than accepting all of his feelings as being normal.

* Listening is more important than talking. Children give us all kinds of clues as to the way they're feeling or what they're thinking. The more we keep our mouths closed and truly listen, the more likely we are to get the real story. Remember Stephen